Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Stages Of Mind

Two words that never cease to amuse me are ‘bloody’ & ‘muaah’ while ‘bloody’ expresses pure disgust, repulsion & antipathy, ‘muaah’ is more of a utopic remark used to describe how superbly out-of-the-world life, people & things are in general. However for me they are not just words but stages between which my life vacillates.
The ‘bloody’ stage is one which sedulously obeys the AND function of binary programming, so some good & some bad becomes ALL bad & life dwells on the boomerang probability of the next important(read complicated)thing in life. This stage works on a complicated algorithm fed in the lobes of the brain which makes the ‘feel-good centre’ amnesic to the last good thing that happened in life & automatically brings the difficult-to-handle things to forefront …phew!
The ‘muaah’ stage however is more relaxing & comforting & the chemical locha makes everything seem worthwhile. The reverse evolutionary process starts operating by default & all that is ‘simple’ starts appearing ‘beautiful’. So a ‘chai’ at the nearby ‘thela’ or a drive at one in the night with blasting bollywood music or a random walk in the rain or a coffee with choco-brownie at CCD or an old movie at eleven in the night or a surprise beautiful song on the local radio can be the ‘muaah’est moments of the day.
while on ordinary days things are either ‘bloody’ or ‘muaah’ sometimes they fall out of the regular vacillation & become what was never thought—‘the end of the world’. Generally in life I am indifferent to things that I do not desire. So even if the person is vacating in Hawaii or has brought a sleek Honda Accord or is living in a penthouse, it will all be weak stimuli which will not generate sufficient action potential but the moment it is something that I desire the firing stimuli will shoot from the surface leading to an exaggerated polarized state of the neuron & in short I will go nuts. The definite reflex response in this case is information dissipation & I go around telling everyone from NewDelhi to NewYork about it. All the permutation & combination of the event turning in my favor are worked out & my obsessive compulsive disorder eventually finds refuge in GOD. So here I would be reminding God of all the good things I did in life & his moral responsibility to make it happen for me. The song that would constantly lurk in the background is ‘Kaisa Khuda hain Tu,bas naam ka hain Tu,Rabba jo teri itni si bhi na chali..’.And in the end God would renounce ‘Take It & Get lost’ & here I would be rejoicing in the Super-Muaah state. The last ‘end of the world’ event was during my MBA placements when recession had changed the situation of economy by 360 degrees & firms were contemplating between hiring or no-hiring & our professional careers were fluttering between taking off & sudden crash.
So while I make every possible efforts to reduce the number of ‘bloody’ & ‘the end of the world’ situations, I realize that the ‘muaah’est events are those that come immediately when a ‘bloody’ or ‘the end of world’ situation suddenly turns in my favor.Well God's way of underscoring that he is still the BOSS.

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