The Dabbler

Ma:'Dieting is an art.'me:'Alright..alright..I agree but chuk it for now mom..''me:'okay???'me:'Baby I will call u later'I had to go to MG road to conduct a consumer research survey.Gosh!I hate this b2c research thingie.Its such an ordeal,walking in the sun and pleading unknown people if they can spend(read waste)some 3 minutes of their life with you.Apparently,those 3 minutes turn out to be the most important 3 minutes of their lives and they walk pass you..and there you are waiting outside some store for that one shopper who can render some delightful insight about shopping and bring about a breakthrough transformation in your career as a summer intern.It was already three when I reached MG Road.Of all the places that fascinate me in Banalore..MG Road is defnitely on of them.Though people would'nt second me on this but I find this place very serene.I like the idea of getting lost in the crowd.I like window shopping alone.I like picking up random stuffs from shops.I like haggling over things that I would never use in life.I like observing couples cuchi-cooing in coffee shops.I like being alone.........So this particular day was no different.I was in MG road and obviously heading towards my shop for market research was not the first thing on my mind.I realized that I had'nt eaten the whole day.Ma's advice was working.But c'mon not eating at all is not a good idea.And there was my chance to grab a bite in some restaurant.well..I was really sick of those zillion fastfood joints that have mushroomed all over Brigade and MG Road.Empty calories' corner.........as hitu calls them.So I wanted to try out some new place.As I started walking I saw some decent restaurant called 'SOUL'.It seemed like some sleek place.'Alright..lets try out...'The ambience was good.And since I was the only customer in the restaurant,I had the chance to be the centre of attraction of the staff.The waiter got the menu.I always read the menu with extreme apprehension.These posh places have their own arithmetic fundas.You cannot essentially establish a logic between the dishes and their prices.But this place was even more wierd.Aerated drinks were priced at Rs.90.and Expresso lunch at Rs.125.Vow...I almost start imagining the supply-demand curve for aerated drinks.#$%@#$%@#$%@Chuk it...there is no point tormenting the brain for no reason.me:'Well I want to have salad...do you have it??'waiter;'Yes ma'am we have this special caesar salad'me:'ok...where is it in the menu??'waiter(pointing towards the salad section):'Here ma'am'me:'Ok ...well Rs.165 for a salad. Your other salads are priced at a lesser price'waiter:'Yes ma'am but this one is really good'me(no way..I am not gonna shell out that much):'ok get me this vegetable salad'waiter:'Ma'am this just contains cucumber and tomato,its not a proper salad..salad'me:'oh!!!well..........'waiter:'Ma'am you just try this caesar salad...it is very good...It has cheese,bread crums,cabage,cucumber dressed in our special mayonese suace'me:'oh!!!!!!well.........'waiter:'It is really really good'me:'okhaaayyyy well then get me that one'waiter:'sure ma'am...anything else'me:'no no ...that is it'...................................THE SALAD ARRIVES.................................It was indeed quite a salad.I was completely stupefied.All I could clearly see in the salad were huge uncut pieces of cabbage dresses in some bland white suace and here there were pieces of bread crums and some cheese slices.My only resort was to eat away those cheese slices and bread crums.And once it was done,I was left with a heap of cabbage leaves lying listless on my plate.One...two...three...four...was all I could swallow.but 165 bucks...no way I am not gonna waste all of it..Lemme add some pepper and salt..One...two...... yuck!!C'mon...one more try.........One............that's it...I cannot do this to myself.NO NO NOI felt like calling the waiter and ask him to eat it all.But then I was reminded of my 'Mannerism & Etiquette' class held in the college.Its okay...it happens...But I am not gonna leave like this.Lemme order some coffee.I asked for the menu again.me:'Get me one hot coffee'waiter:'ma'am try out our cappucino...its really nice'me:'No...no...not this time...jus get me one plain simple coffee'waiter:'Sure'..................................THE COFFEE ARRIVES...............................me:'waiter..........'waiter:'yes ma'am!'me:'where is the milk??'waiter:'There is no milk'me:'but this is black coffee...I wanted 'normal coffee'...'waiter:'ma'am...but you said 'only plain coffee'me:'What the #$@%' me:'but................................'me:'ok..........well..........' I gulped the coffee in two seconds...paid a bill of 220 bucks.....and stormed out of the restaurant.I promised myself to eat anything in the whole world but not think of dieting when eating in a restaurant.you see....dieting is an art.And I ai'nt no artist...